I have no idea of when conscious thoughts first came to me. All I perceived was a vast sea of blue surrounding me with no end to it. My surroundings gave me no concept of the passage of time, just the damnable blue around me. I could start to hate it except that I seem to recall a person that I know is associated with this color. A wise young being and the thought that he/she/it... no not it, never it... was associated with an ancient enemy or friend. Or was that enemies and friends? Yes, the plural seems/feels more appropriate. Who is he really? He! Yes the wise little one is a he. And who are the ones associated with him? But then, who or what, am I?
“ Uh, honey? What did you get yourself into now? ” the stray thought hit me. I know it's connected with someone close to me but not. I know it should be male and gruff. I know he should have white hair and eyes far older than he looks. But that is all. I can feel my emotions in turmoil, anger, sorrow, frustration, joy, happiness, love, and hate. It seems the more the emotions build up the less coherent my thoughts become. I lash out about me. I feel power flowing from me into the vast blue around me. And with it, my rational thoughts. The more I expend, the harder it is to think. I must be going insane. Maybe I always was.
“ Yeah, that’s it. Remove anything or anyone who annoys you. Typical. ” The thought has a female quality to it. “ Only in this case, it's you, your destroying yourself. Come on, put your vast intellect to good use and think instead of reacting. ”
“ That’s easier said then done, my dear, ” I replied to the voice.
“ Come on. Get Zen. Meditate. Collect your thoughts and tell me a story about yourself. You used to tell me wonderful stories when I was in the hospital. ”
“Ah come on, honey, tell us a story! ” That annoying male voice again.
Why bother, you're both just part of my madness.....
“ Well, if you won’t tell us then tell him, ” the female voice said in exasperation. I thought I heard a baby's " ooh! " from just outside the blue. It was followed by that baby's joyous expression of discovery.
Where do I begin?
“ Like a book. At the beginning. Duh. ” If could see her I know I would have smiled at that.
“ Come here, baby, the funny guy is gonna tell us a story. ” A shimmering line flowed in the blue vastness as I gathered my thoughts. Slowly images formed before me of a cottage bedroom.
The woman on the bed was badly scarred from burns, my heart ached at the beauty that had once been hers, now destroyed. I was placed in her arms by an odd old man with a kindly face.
“ What shall we name him, love? ” the old man asked.
“ Percival ”
“ Hmm. Percival Lunaris. I like that. ”
(to be continued)
09/27/07 @ 15:32